SuperCaliFashionistic

This assortment of designer strips is a much of an attention grabber as it is a tan line hazard. Though we don't actually recommend trying water activities of any sort (including swimming), it's the perfect piece for showing off your hours at the gym (unless, like most of us, you were a couch potato for the entire summer). Besides an amazing bod, there's another prerequisite: confidence. This piece needs to be worn ironically, otherwise it's a fail. Yes, you might have the physique of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, but you can't take yourself too seriously. You really can't expect others to, either, when you have a speech bubble saying "I am Frank" on your right boob.

The monokini retails for $149 (originally $410) at Bluefly. All sizes are stocked except for XL (do they not make that size, or were a ton of very large people inexplicably attracted to this swimsuit?). Snap it up before it disappears - and unless you desire to resemble some sort of linear abstract painting, be sure to apply plenty of sunscreen.